This Memory of Mine

I spent Valentine's Day this year with my little sister Chelsea. She got tickets for John Mayer and as a fan, I happily tagged along. It wasn't until John's passionate voice began caressing my heart did I remember why I wasn't singing along. When Ryan and I broke up a couple of years ago I had to move everything that reminded me of him to my basement. That included all John's albums. There I was at the Air Canada Centre with my sister on love day thinking about Ryan and remembering how torn up I was over ending our relationship. Nicely done Cupid.

Fast forward to May 2010. Ryan had been on my mind constantly since we parted in 2008 and I was finally ready to jump back in, bear my soul and hope for the best. Through countless bbms (BlackBerry messages) we finally decided to have "the talk" on a Sunday evening. As I circled Liberty Village with Gigi in tow, Ryan and I talked about everything that had happened since we parted. He asked me what I was looking for, why I was coming back after all this time and how the break up had felt on my end. Jokingly I said, "I was devastated! I had to banish all my John Mayer music to the basement." I wasn't really joking though. I was sad. I missed Ryan and I often doubted whether walking away from him was the right decision.

Shift backwards to the summer of 2008. I ordered tix to see Johnny at Molson Amp with Ryan. Excitedly I told Ryan over the phone. His response, "Really? I've been watching Ticketmaster all week and I bought two tickets for us also." If you know Ryan, you know what a concert whore he is. He won't accept just any seats, he scopes websites, scours Craigslist and never settles for mediocre tickets. His were better than mine. I sold mine to Rach and her bf and then on a summery night Ryan and I, riding in the backseat of his Dad's car went downtown to the concert.

Ryan sings along when he likes a song, and he REALLY likes John Mayer. He spent the evening with a smile on his face, which makes me melt. Last night Ryan and I went to see John again at the Amp and when Ryan asked me what song I was dying to hear, I had to admit that I had forgotten a lot of my favourites, mostly because the songs I really love reminded me so much of Ryan that they ripped my heart out. When John sang out, "...slow dancing in a burning room" I had to tell Ryan that this song in particular was really hard to hear while we were breaking up. He agreed. I love that song. I think it's sexy, honest and makes so much sense. I've got to remember where I stashed the Ryan files in the basement and start listening again.

When Ryan and I got back together this spring he came over one night with a little present for me. The latest John Mayer album. He knows me well. This time all my Ryan stuff stays out of the basement <3