My girlfriend messaged me Friday night while I was in a cab coming back from NOT seeing Girl Talk - turns out we should have bought tickets ahead of time. Anyways, as I was sweltering in the back of a taxi flying across Queen Street my phone lit up with the message "he broke up with me." This news was coming out. of. the. blue.
The relationship was fairly new, but there were no signs of problems. It got me thinking, what makes a guy bail on a really great girl suddenly? A couple of hours later as Tina and I sat at The Cadillac Lounge discussing careers, relationships and how much food we mistakenly ordered she asked me what happened with the last bf. I told her that we were headed in different directions - the usual blah, blah, it didn't work stuff. I told her how excited I am to tackle the world on my own and she said, "You know you aren't going to be single forever, right?" Sure, in theory I know this and I don't honestly think I'm destined to live alone with my dogs, but I'm planning on life in the foreseeable future as a single woman. It seems regardless of the guys I've dated, some of whom I thought were potential forever men, I've yet to be in that relationship where everything and I mean everything falls in to place. So why is that?
My newly single gal pal is successful, beautiful, funny and brings a lot to a relationship - so why did buddy bail on her? Could it be that guys are threatened of successful, capable and confident women? I've been told that's my problem. I scare them off and to that I say "good!" I don't want some wussy guy who's threatened by my career and my opinions and my ability to be on my own and be blissfully happy. Man up guys.
Later on in the evening, Tina and I were joined by her bf and some friends I hadn't seen in ages. The question came up, "So, where's the boy?" Fearing I'd burst into tears or something, Tina gave her bf the look. "We broke up. Months ago." I told them. Feeling they'd blundered they told me to look on the bright side. I'm not sad about it. I was, of course but now I'm so happy with myself and I know things ended because they needed to. Then the topic of some other people I've dated came up and this is what I find so amusing...
"You dated him after so and so?" I was asked in disbelief Friday night. All I can say is, I must have been temporarily insane when I made some of the dating choices in my history. Some were complete gentleman, total douchebags, at a different point in their lives, living in a different country or only looking for one thing. I'm okay with all of that. It's my dating history and it's brought me to exactly where I am today: single and not willing to settle.
Did I think I'd be one of the last people in my circle of friends to be serious with a guy and have babies and all that? Nope, but now that I am I'm more than okay with it. Plus, going out as a single lady is so much more fun :) Do you ever wonder why you're not meeting the right person? Do you get the whole, "how are you single?" question? Well eff me, if I knew why I was still single, maybe I wouldn't be. My only guess is none of the dudes that have come in to my life were meant to stay romantically forever and the guy who is meant to stay just hasn't shown up or we haven't realized we're destined for each other yet. I'm happy with that. I want a real man so he has some growing up to do before I'm ready to do all that happily ever after stuff.