We've all been there, I'm sure. A relationship ends and even if you've ended it - knowing very well that it was the right thing to do - you still spend days overwhelmed with sadness. It's okay my sweets. Broken hearts are always mended and eventually you'll wonder how you could ever be so sad about some jerk who didn't deserve your affections in the first place. Trust me, this day is coming.
I've been in this place many times. I've been sad and lonely and somehow convinced myself that even though I dumped that idiot, that somehow I'd made a mistake since surely being with him is better than being alone at this very minute. I was wrong and if you're under that delusion right now, you're also wrong. As wrong as thick white eyeliner and platform flipflop sandals.
I'm a bit of a sucker for true to life quotations, so I follow a bunch of those accounts on Twitter. I once read this and can't believe I didn't think of it myself: I know you think you'll never get over him, but you also thought it would never end. BINGO! When you think you're never going to get through this, remember those words.
I've had relationships end and spent more time than I'd care to admit being heartbroken. I believe in mourning relationships we walk away from and then moving on, so I've recently given one of my dearest friends some kick in the ass therapy. This incredible woman is sad because her relationship just ended and I'll go on the record saying it definitely needed to end. She knows that. It's not news. However, she's stuck in a predictable pattern of anger, sadness and loneliness. She misses that prick. It's a harsh label, but completely warranted in this case.
I've learned the hard way that telling your girlfriends what you really think about their boyfriends can mean the end of your friendship, so I made a choice years ago to just be supportive (unless I feel they're in danger) of the relationships. This means I keep my opinions of certain guys to myself. In this case however, girlfriend needed a kick in the hiney and I asked if I could give it to her. She obliged. I told her that she's not actually missing him, but choosing to forget the bad stuff because it's been a while since the split and she's remembering the happy stuff to make herself feel better. It's a coping mechanism. Push out the reasons why you ended things (he was being a complete jackass) and flood your aching heart with memories of him making you laugh and feel loved. You temporarily feel better and start going through the "Should I call him? I really miss him, that must mean we should be together" cycle.
Don't lie to yourself. Things ended for a reason. Sure, sometimes couples get back together and the pair go through growth for the better. In most cases though, the relationship ended because it had to. You already know that you, don't you?