This Is How We Do It

Tomorrow after work I'm picking my almost twenty year old sister up from the subway and taking her downtown to stay with me. She blows out 20 candles this weekend and honestly, it doesn't feel that long ago that she was born. For all my girlfriends, yes, you can gasp in shock. The little girl who used to ask us to read her books and do her hair when you were over at my house in high school is now a woman. We're even older now. Double whammy!

Chelsea Eileen or "sweetie" as we called her when she was a newborn is better known in our family as Chelsea Buns. She's got the clearest blue eyes I've ever seen and a sense of humour that's blossoming as she gets older. We share jokes all the time and often communicate in only movie quotes. For example, let's say I want to fire off a text to Chels to tell her I'm thinking of her and that I'm having a good day. Instead of expressing that in plain English I'll likely type, "Good news. I saw a dog today." This is from one of our favourite movies, Elf. It started with Napoleon Dynamite quotations mostly. I'd ask the sullen teenager if she'd finished her homework and in true Napoleon fashion, she'd huff in exaggeration instead of saying, "I'll get to it. Get off my back and stop busting me for not doing my homework for pete's sake!"

Sometimes when we're in the same room - which isn't too often now that we're both moved out of the house - we'll pick up the pretend phone and exclaim, "Buddy the Elf. What's your favourite colour?" This line applies in many situations for us. It conveys a plethora of emotions and meanings. We're not insane, I can promise you. We just like to have fun.




Chels is just a funny person. In grade nine she took band class and started playing the sax. It was painful for baby sister and I for the first month she was learning. The tortured sounds of music being strangled escaping from Chelsea's room still make me smile. She was only 14 then and she was just discovering her love of music and while she was doing that, she was making me laugh. Now she's an accomplished player and no longer makes me giggle when she plays...now I beam with pride.

On her 19th birthday her friends took her out and she came home with a favourite drink that still cracks me up. She told me she was drinking Florida tracksuits at the local pub in honour of becoming legal. Now, I'm not a professional drinker or anything, but I'm almost ten years older than Chels and I've never heard of that drink. She goes out on her first night and finds what sounds to me like the coolest and most hilarious libation ever. What a kid!

Does seeing your younger siblings grow up make you realize how lucky you are to have them? It might make us feel older, but it's pretty awesome to think that we've been there for every birthday watching them grow and learn. This week, I'm celebrating how lucky I am to be Chelsea's big sister.

This Was a Festive Weekend

Hello friends! I had a festive, busy and expensive weekend but I wouldn't change any of it. Friday night I stayed in, ordered pizza (Friday night is the best night to order pizza in my opinion), watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians on E! and then fell asleep on my couch with my little fur baby asleep in her dog bed. I got up early Saturday morning - earlier than I get up for work actually - and my cousin Kate picked me up for the MAC employee sale. As we arrived we saw the HUGE lineup and decided to ditch and head for the One Of A Kind Show instead. I'm so glad we did.

We both spent a pretty penny in the massive exhibition. I reloaded at the ATM more times than I'd like to admit, but I crossed a lot of names off my Christmas shopping list AND I found a well-priced birch tree painting for my condo. I've always loved birch trees and lately they've been everywhere. The only problem was every time I saw a painting I liked it was out of my price range. When I saw this gem for less than a hundred dollars, I grabbed it. I can't wait to hang it up!




We saw some really awesome stuff at OOAK and it was great to spend a day with my cousin. Our family is very close, but life gets busy and we don't always see each other as much as we'd all like. On Sunday morning, I got up early (sigh, again) and then drove out to visit my sister, Chels at university. I took her shopping and spent a small fortune on food, fun and crafty stuff. I've missed Chelsea so much since she moved away, but I'm so proud of her. She's not going to be home for Christmas until the 23rd and we've got a deal not to watch Home Alone until she's back in Aurora and we can order a plain cheese pizza just like Kevin McAllister does. For the record, Home Alone is probably my favourite Christmas movie so this pact Chelsea, Chandler and I have made is KILLING me. I won't give in though.



Chels and I spent ages in Micheal's yesterday and I found great cookie decorating supplies. I even bought a teensy paint brush to detail my cookies with a hint of shimmer. On my way home I hit Metro to buy pre-made dough (I was so anxious to decorate that I didn't want to spend time making cookie dough) and spent the last few hours of my weekend decorating cookies. I took lots of pictures last night, so I'll add some later. I prefer original colours for the holidays. I don't believe it's all red and green, so my cookies are violet, pink and teal so far. They're fabulous and match the new tabletop display I made out of jewel toned jingle bells and mini ornaments last night. It's official - I'm in the full wring of holiday mode now and there's no slowing down.

This Festive Season

Holy crow, I just LOVE Christmas! I'm listening to Christmas music while I write this and yesterday I spent hours cleaning my house, dragging endless boxes up from the basement and casting my holiday wand over my house to make this place beautifully festive. It makes me really happy to come home to a lit Christmas tree and the smell of cinnamon and cedar. I don't have a real tree, in fact I've never had a real tree in my life. My mom was allergic and I'm not entirely sure how cool I am with cutting down trees and then throwing them out with the trash a month later. Seems wasteful, ya know?

This year I bought a pink tree for my bedroom. I'm all about the themes. I decorated this tree with all muted greens and whites. The small tree in my upstairs hallways is a sparkling blue and silver masterpiece. The main floor tree is covered in burgundy, forest green and gold. That's my mom's tree. I bought some new ornaments for it last year, but I keep that one decorated in her favourite holiday colours. I still string her cranberry garland around the tree and feel like she's still here if I'm still decorating the tree her way. In the basement is the big tree and it's covered in the kid decorations and all the ornaments we've accumulated over the last 30 years. Lots of ornaments my Nanny made are on there, along with a mish-mash of colourful, vibrant and whimsical decorations that remind me of all the Christmases I've had and I feel blessed. The funny part about this tree is that since Christmas 2007 it has been fully decorated and set up in my basement. The deal was I would put up all the Christmas stuff and my Dad and sisters would take it all down. Eventually I got tired of waiting and cleared out all the stuff on the main floor and upstairs. I've got to give them credit because when they don't want to do something, they're not giving in. That tree is still sitting there and it's starting to lean a bit. One of Chandler's friends loves coming over at any point in the year and seeing that tree in the basement. It makes him happy! It makes me nostalgic, but ya I'd sort of like it to be taken down this January, but I'm not counting on it.

The first ornament I picked out is still on the basement tree each year. My mom said I was still so young that I was in a stroller and I reached out to a small treasure of glass balloons. They clip onto the tree and are held up with a strong wire so they look like they're floating. I smile just thinking about them. When I move out and start filling my own house with Christmas trees, those are coming with me. My mom said that each year we bulked up our Christmas ornaments and I could pick a new one each year. The balloons were my first.

My sister Chelsea got a dark purple tree this year and used all golds and rusts to decorate it. The tree's a beauty and very Chels. I found a stellar website for all those folks who really get into Christmas trees and I'm fighting the urge to buy a 6 foot pink tree. Maybe it's not very holiday-ish, but I'm a single woman and the window for having things completely my way is closing. One day I'm gonna have a manly husband who will probably not be thrilled with a pink tree and so I've got to take advantage of this girly time. Even as I write this, I keep glancing over at my mini pink tree and shoot, I'm just so happy to see it!

When I was living with Dushi we had a four foot tree and used all reds, whites and silvers to decorate it. I loved that tree and would come home from school, immediately turn the tree lights on and just stare at it. It glowed somehow and I still think about it.

We only get Christmas once a year and that's why I treasure it so much. The movies are fantastic, the music is uplifting, the smells are warming and the sights are magical. The entire season is a gift for me.

This Summer Evening

Tonight I just feel like writing. Maybe it's because I had a great weekend. Maybe I had a great weekend because I had the house to myself. Maybe having the house to myself has shown me that it really is time to move out...for good.

Moving out of my house scares me. Originally I thought this fear was only because I'm terrified of sleeping in a house alone. Now I know that what really scares me is leaving my family behind. I won't be leaving them behind though, I'll be following the natural progression of life and embarking on my own adventures. I never thought I'd be back at home for this long after having moved out during university. Suddenly, it's 2009 and I'm getting closer to 30 than I'd like to be and I'm still coming home to the same house I've been coming home to since I was 15. The living situation is okay, but I want a) more freedom; b) more quiet; c) more privacy and d)more of my OWN space.

For now though, I'm still at home. Financially I'm not ready to make that leap (I love clothes too much) and I'm very picky about who I would live with if I had to pick a roomie. Until all of the pieces come together, I'll stay where I am and watch my sisters grow into mature young women each day. It really is a blessing.

I've seen some relationships - romantic and otherwise - go south after people moved in together. I lived with an ex for a couple of years during school and there were times when I wished we were in separate spaces. Actually, that only happened once. We got in a fight and I went to the bedroom while he stayed on the couch but I felt like we were still in too close of quarters to really get the anger out.

I've known girls who have lived together who are no longer friends because of these living arrangements. I don't want to lose any of my gals, so that's out of the question. Living with a stranger seems a bit too much like the start of Single White Female, so I'll avoid that also. Basically, I think I'll either be in a condo on my own or shacked up with my hunny on our way to the altar. Either way, it's not in the near future. I've got expensive taste and the place where I put my MK handbag down each day better be spectacular, so until spectacular is in my budget I'll be at home with the dogs, my sisters and my dad and that's okay with me.

This Big Sister Thing

I have three younger sisters, all of whom I adore for different reasons. Just so nobody gets jealous, I'm writing about the baby today but I'll include posts about Jenna and Chels in my blog as well. There we go, that's my disclaimer - basically meant for Jenna and Chelsea so we can avoid a jealousy fit.

Chandler Victoria is my baby sister. It doesn't matter that she's 16 now and has more wisdom than lots of people much older than her, she will always be my baby sister. Chan and I are ten years apart, but we talk to each other like there's no age gap. I go to her for advice constantly. She knows exactly how to speak to me when I'm upset and has such a genuine gentleness about her. She is really extraordinary and I always knew she was.

Even as an infant, this kid was just aware of stuff. She would gaze at my mother with knowing eyes and it always seemed clear that she was special. Not short school bus special, but Disney princess special. Okay, maybe the Disney reference was lame and not a stellar example of who Chandler is. That's part of her magic though. You have to be around this girl to truly appreciate the magnitude of her gifts. She's a wonderful person and is destined for big things in life. I expect her to be either a teacher or some type of healer. Perhaps a doctor, spiritual healer, naturopath or social worker. Regardless of the path she chooses, her spirit will spread its roots and touch all those who need it.

I may have lost some of you already and I get that. Chandler is very intuitive and when I realized this recently, it made perfect sense. Ask anyone whose heard me describe my sister and they'll agree that the words "special," "gifted," "truly individual" and "pretty much the coolest chick ever" are part of my arsenal when bragging about her. This young woman has had her share of shitty stuff in her life, but is coming through with a renewed spirit and zest for life that makes me realize anything is possible.

Lately, Chandler is my life coach and happiness guru. I ask her questions about my life all the time and she always knows the answers. Last month she made a time capsule and included her prediction for who I would marry and how the relationship would unfold. It's the little things like this that show me the tremendous amount of hope and love she has for everyone. Hope is not always an easily found commodity, especially for those who have overcome turmoil and tragedy in their lives. I'd have to say though, hope is something my family has in truckloads. Chandler was four years old when our mother died and although she's had some struggles, she remains one of the loveliest people I know.

When my mom was sick, I came home from a party one night, turned down my covers and found my tiny baby sister snuggled in a ball in my bed. Her blonde hair covered her face and she was clothed in only a diaper. She was just a toddler at the time. I got into bed beside her and watched her sleep, knowing that one day soon she would be without a mother. My heart broke for the first time in my life.

The next morning I told my mother who I had found in my bed. Mom looked at me with a softness in her eyes and adjusted the silk scarf on her head and said, "She was in your bed because she knows you're going to take care of her Crys. She's getting ready for when I'm gone." I have never forgotten this moment. There are bigger things in life and powers that shape our lives when we need them most. Somehow my baby sister knew at only three years old that she would grow up without a mother and would depend on me - only 14 at the time - to raise her as our mother would have. My mom and I had a silent agreement that morning and it's a promise I will keep for eternity. In this life and forever, I will try to show my sisters who our mom was and raise them with the dignity and strength I know she had. Being a big sister is perhaps the most important job I'll ever have and nothing makes me happier.