This Auntie Crystal

You know what's happened since I last stopped by? I've become an aunt for the very first time. For an unwed 31 year old career gal, this is a pretty sweet deal. I can spoil my nephew, kiss his sweet fat cheeks, make him laugh, take oodles of photos and when he squawks I can hand him right back to his mama. I don't lose any sleep and I get to push the stroller at the mall.

Before you think I don't change any diapers, I do. It's been 20 years since I've changed a diaper and I'm happy to report it's not any worse than I remember. It's not any better either, but that's a different story.

My nephew showed up early. He's our sweet Easter boy, born on Easter Sunday and named after his great-grandfather. Jack laughs and smiles when I wipe up the barf from under his chin and lets his big sister, Holly (the boxer) lick his face whenever she pleases. He's the most wonderful thing I've ever seen in my life and every single day I feel so lucky to be his Auntie Crystal.

This summer I'm taking a staycation and spending the week with Jack and his mama at the pool. I can't wait to parade him around as if he's my own baby. He's shown me that when I actually have kids, I'll likely be super annoying because all I do is show people pictures and videos of Jack. Strangers even. "Look at my nephew! Have you ever seen such a handsome little guy?" Don't kid yourself, that's a rhetorical question. If you take more then 1 nanosecond to respond to that question you're risking your life around this P.A.N.K. - Professional Aunt No Kids. I'm thinking of getting tshirts made for myself. Probably business cards too. I was made for this gig.

This Valentine's Happy on the Cheap

I love love and I love Valentine’s Day. Maybe that’s because it’s never been a negative, dread filled day for me – regardless of my romantic status. Growing up, Valentine’s Day was always a family day. My mom bought us Dairy Queen cakes. My uncle brought me flowers. My aunt made heart-shaped pancakes. I made valentines from brightly coloured paper with pastels, pencil crayons and glitter. I wore red or pink clothes – bonus points if I could find something with hearts on it. The theme was always showing each other how much we care without spending a mint, and that’s really the point of Valentine’s Day. I don’t stop celebrating if I’m single or broke and neither should you.



Valentine's Day 2009 - notice the necklace and heart jumper



Living in Toronto as a 20 something (okay, 29 for less than another month), there’s definitely a struggle to keep afloat financially, never mind spending a fortune on Valentine’s Day gifts to show your loved ones you care. (Disclaimer: material things and gifts don’t equate to love). It’s a common theme among us and luckily we have Tiffany Mealia, founder of She’s So Savvy to spread the lovey-dovey, money saving cheer for us. *The second point really mirrors how the day has always been celebrated in my life.*

·         Celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 15th. If you get a kick out of the flowers, chocolates, cards and all that goes with it then celebrate the next day because everything is heavily discounted. “My boyfriend and I celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 15 each year. We avoid the rush, overpriced goods, and make it our own,” says Mealia.

·         Decide your Valentine’s Day is not just for couples. Make Valentine’s Day a celebration of your love of family by doing something together like going to the Zoo, taking advantage of discounted movie night, having games night at home, creating an art project, or cooking a big kid-friendly meal together. No kids? Make Valentine’s Day about your friends or parents. Invite them over for dinner or grab some half priced appetizers at a savvy restaurant location.

·         Make Valentine’s Day about loving yourself. Take one full day to devote to caring and tending to your needs so that you feel invigorated and loved. Have a home spa day, read a great book, organize your living space...do whatever you want to do that day/night. You might call it falling in love with yourself all over again.

·         Share all the love you have with those who need it most. Make Valentine’s Day about loving our neighbours, community, and our world. Head to a shelter to help serve meals, lend a hand at Daily Bread Food Bank, take part in a Habitat for Humanity build. Decide your Valentine’s Day is about saying “I love you” in a way that extends far and impacts lives for the better.

If you feel creative, er, at least feel like hitting “print” and cutting along the dotted lines, download some free Valentine printables. These are my new favourite things lately. I pin them all to one of my Pinterest boards and dream about printing the most gorgeous cards without spending a fortune. I find the happy in printables because they’re free and pretty. There, I said it.

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Maybe Valentine’s Day means sweets to you - like bulk candy in adorable plastic bags. Head over to a grocery store, discount store or your favourite variety store down the street and grab gummies for a few cents a piece. Then, wrap a dainty little bow around your package and presto! You’re giving the inexpensive (less than a buck) gift of sugar and sweets to your loved ones.

So you’re real mushy and romantic, eh? You want a blue Tiffany box, three dozen pale pink tea roses, a stay in a plush hotel bed with room service delivered on silver trays? Well, I don’t have a way to make that happen, but I do know that watching my favourite romantic movies in pink jammies with tea and DQ ice cream cake always makes me happy on Valentine’s Day. The Holiday, Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally and Something’s Gotta Give rank high on my list. I’m sure you can find a downloadable version online – no, I don’t support bootleg movies, but I won’t report you to the cops – or a copy at your local movie store for a few bucks.

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For more el cheapo ways to bring Cupid into your day: add red food colouring to your milk; use a heart shaped cookie cutter to make your sandwich; make heart shaped pasta with a hearty tomato sauce; sneak a love note into your loved ones’ coat pockets or in between pages in the book they’re reading; watch A Charlie Brown Valentine when it airs on one of the big networks; pick up the phone and call somebody just to say “hi.” Don’t text, email or IM. Make a legitimate phone call – especially if you want to wish your less techie loved ones a happy Valentine’s Day.

Here’s the deal, Valentine’s will be a happy and wonderful day if you want it to be. Make it special for yourself and loved ones while living within your means.

This Beach Snuggle

A few months ago my pal Suze posted a video on Facebook and I fell in love. It's no secret that I love animals. What I really love is getting a sense of their personalities. Watch this video and tell me what you think about this precious guy snuggling up to a woman on the beach. Doesn't it just break your heart to know that he wants affection and the comfort of someone in his life?

I could watch this all day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfcwO67BvnY

This Royal Happy Place

It's rare that I wake up when the clock hands are both pointing east (except for flights), but I was up this morning for the royal wedding and it has put me in the best mood. I was singing, prancing around my apartment, talking to Gigi in a British accent, doing my makeup and pretty much vibrating with joy for the royal newlyweds.

Yes, there is news happening all over the world and some of it isn't pleasant, but the coverage of the royal wedding should bring happiness to everyone. It's a joyous time. A marriage for two people so in love...how could this event evoke anything but pure joy?

I can hardly focus on anything besides the wedding today. I want to run out to purchase a fascinator, although I'm pretty sure I have a headpiece I can rejig and add some feathers to and rock my own version. Fascinators are for young women and hats are for the older gang. I've always been enamoured with hats, even if I look silly wearing them. On my first trip to NYC at 16 I had a list of things I wanted to do: get a makeover on 5th Avenue, spend every penny I had and try on a fabulous hat. I did everything I wanted. Years earlier my Mom was taking a business trip to Boston and I begged her for a hat like the ones Blossom wore. She brought me back a black felt hat with a flower on it. I was in love. At 9 years old I didn't have the guts to wear it anywhere, but I coveted the Bloomingdales bag it came in and wore the hat around my tiny room.

One day I'm gonna get hitched and I think my Aunt Sharon will only be thrilled when I agree to wear a killer headpiece for my nuptials. When my cousin was shopping for her dress and having several fittings I was ALWAYS drooling over the blushers and beaded works of art to place atop my head. I'm gonna go Kentucky Derby for my wedding - that much I know even if I don't have a bf.

Off the subject of my future wedding and back to my happy royal happy place, can I just say that the sight of such a happy couple, so obviously in love has made me a blissfully happy girl on this lovely Friday in April. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Celebrate!

Here's just a snapshot of my favourite fascinator from today's event. People are ripping on poor Bea, but I think she owns it.

This is Me Loving ME

Hey guys, I'm over at How To Raise A Boyfriend again today. It's such a great site and I love being a part of something a) empowering for females b) related to my love of blogging and writing c) something Canadian, specifically from the Toronto community and d) that's letting me get myself out there even more :)

http://www.howtoraiseaboyfriend.com/2011/03/love-you-first-written-by-crystal-major/

This Time Cupid Got Me

I'm a dreamer. I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm in love with love and I'm passionate. So, I REALLY love Valentines Day. It's not about the gifts - it's about showing people you care about how much they mean to you. When I woke up this morning, my Dad had already texted me to say "Happy VDay my pretty daughter xoxo." How freggin' cute is he? Like seriously!

My girlfriend Julie has texted me also hoping that bf would be spoiling me today. My old roomie emailed me with wishes of love and chocolate. The most gorgeous arrangement of jewel toned carnations were on my desk when I got to work (mega points bf) and my boss had left chocolates for all the staff. What isn't great about this day?

Even when I was a single gal, I still adored Valentines Day. My mom always got us a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. My aunts and uncles would get my cousins and I toys and flowers. It's just a really sweet day so I hope if you're in the "I hate this day camp" you'll consider switching over to the sunny side.

This day is about family and friends, as well as romance and smushy love stuff. Be cheesy today. Sing some love songs. Wear pink and red. Smile at people. Spread love and joy - you know you want to!

This is Adorable

I've loved this song ever since I heard it on Sirius XMU channel in the spring and now it's getting even more exposure. If you pay any attention to entertainment news or YouTube, you might know what song I'm talking about. There's a father/daughter duo covering Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros awesome song, Home. The daughter in just a wee thing at only six years old and she catches every nuance in lyrics and sound. She's full of soul and the pair are now an online sensation.

Here's the link to their video...if you need to smile today, watch this and I promise you, your cheeks will ache from the huge grin on your face. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64c5vT3NBw

If I didn't already love this song, I would have fallen deeply in love with it after seeing this video. Jorge and Alexa were on Ellen today so I had to spread their happiness just a little bit further.

Up at the top of the post is a picture I took in Laguna Beach a few years ago. I was chatting about how much I love California with a friend today and let's face it - who doesn't need some beach imagery when it's so cold outside?

This Stuff You Might Not Know

Last year I did one of those chain thingeys on Facebook. Thinking back, I realize that the reason I liked writing it so much was because I was able to share things about myself that I don't normally talk about. It was cathartic and a few months later, I started blogging. I guess this is where it all began...

25 Random Things
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 at 10:32am.
The rules: You're supposed to write 25 random things about yourself and then tag people in your note. If you tag someone it means you want to learn more about them. I think that's pretty much it. I forgot to cut and paste the instructions onto my note, so forgive me if I've missed something.

1. I really wanted to write one of these notes because I love doing quizzes and answering questions about myself. If that's vanity - fine - I prefer to think of it as self exploration. I had to get my little sisters to show me how to write a note on FB though which tells me I'm getting old!

2. I really hate that I started biting my nails again. I stopped right after I turned 20 because I was in a car accident and my bruised face hurt too much to chew. I didn't start biting them again until this summer and I'm disgusted with myself for it.

3. I heard on the Today show last month that there is actually a medical definition for a shopping addiction. I don't pretend to be a shopaholic, I fully am one and it's not something I think will make me cool. I buy stuff and spend money like it's nobody's business. It would blow your mind if you saw me tear through a store. Sometimes after I go shopping I actually feel ill because I wasn't able to exercise any restraint. On the brighter side, I can ALWAYS convince my besties that they "need" to buy that dress or those killer heels. It's a gift :)

4. I think it's weird hearing kids say how hard it was for them when their parents split up. Mine got divorced when I was 6 and I've NEVER thought it was my fault or that they made a bad decision. I always remember thinking my parents had a toxic relationship and I wanted my Dad out of the house so I could have my mom all to myself.

5. My mom died when I was 15. In the almost 12 years since she passed away, there hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about her, missed her and wished she were here. She was 37 when she died of cancer and for some reason I live my life thinking it's all going to be over at 37. In other words, I count backwards from 37 to determine how much time I have to get things accomplished. If I leave this world at the hands of a cruel disease when I'm 37, I can only hope that I'm half the mother she was.

6. I love books. I spend hours in Chapters and about 90% of the time I buy a book based on the cover. I know you're not supposed to do that, but some of the most incredible stories I've read have been because the cover caught my eye and the sleeve captured my attention. Summer Sisters by Judy Blume, It's Called a Break-up Because it's Broken, Lipstick Jungle, Bergdorf Blondes and Chasing Harry Winston are only a few of the books I've fallen in love with just because the cover was cute and/or I liked the title. You should always take a chance on a book. Even if it's not great, you're still spending time exercising your brain while you read it waiting for the good parts.

7. During the height of her fame (pre-Federline, pre-meltdown, pre-crazy Southern gal), I was convinced that if I met Britney Spears, she would be my friend. I'm pulling for that girl all the way and even when she shaved her head and I thought she was totally effed up, I still wanted her to bounce back. I'll be seeing her in concert for the third time next month. Yes, I love her and her music. Say what you will about me. I also love Foo Fighters, The Ink Spots, Patsy Cline and The Airborne Toxic Event. My musical tastes vary and I make no apologies for what I like. So spare me the "Britney doesn't even sing...blah, blah." That girl can shake her ass and sell a record, so just shut up already.

8. I love Starbucks and I love coffee. I love that my drink of choice costs me over five bucks a day and that even when I'm broke and could get a coffee from home, walking into my favourite coffee place totally makes me happy. I spend $5.20 on a venti, lactose-free latte at least once a day and I'll never be a Tim Hortons drinker. If I have to drink Tims, I'll feel like I'm slumming it. The first coffee I had and loved was from the McDonalds drive-thru the morning my mom died. I've been a devoted follower of the java since then.

9. I am best friends with my ex. He's the first person I go to when I'm freaking out, need advice, need cheering up or just wanna talk. People think it's weird that we can be so close, but it makes perfect sense to us. We needed to end our romantic relationship to reap the benefits of being friends. We get along so much better now. You probably think I'm lying and that I'm still in love with him - you're wrong. I still love him, but now he's like a brother or cousin or uncle. I trust him completely and it's been years since we broke up.

10. I have three dogs and I adore them, but they're nuts. Trying to walk them takes all my energy and every time the doorbell rings it's mayhem at my house. These three mutts are outta control, but they're a part of my family. When it's time for me to get married and live with my new husband, the option of whether or not I'm bring Gigi with me isn't an option. If a guy can't accept my dog, then he doesn't love everything about me.

11. Last month I cut all my hair off and I regret it. I love the style, but miss my long hair :( My cousin told me I have to grow it out for her wedding. I wish I could go back a few months and dye my hair a different colour instead of chopping it off gradually because I was bored. It will grow back, I'm just impatient.

12. I would throw myself in front of a speeding train if it meant saving my family. I react without thinking. When I see a car accident, a stray dog or a child who looks like they're lost, I step in before I even realize what I'm doing. I just do and worry about the details later. If someone said to me, "You can save your sisters if you jump off this cliff" I wouldn't hesitate. Life without them wouldn't be worth living anyways.

13. My cousin Jen knows me better than anyone else. She knows when I'm keeping something from her, when I'm upset about something, when I'm angry and when I'm thrilled. We're only four months apart and we've grown up as best friends/cousins/sisters. We used to give each other beatings like you wouldn't believe. She would bite me and I would pull her hair. She always cried first and then I'd feel bad and try to smooth it over before she told on me. If we got into a scrap today, she'd kick my ass. Next summer she's getting married and I'm her maid of honour.

14. I don't regret the failures in life. I'd rather try something and fail miserably then sit back thinking I'd screw it up if I tried. I have no shame about that stuff. I don't ever want to look back on my life and think, "I wonder what would have happened IF..."

15. I want to live on the beach at some point in my life. I'm a water sign and nothing soothes me more than the sound of waves lapping against the shore. Walking along a sandy beach make me so happy. I feel more alive when I'm near water and I take a bath almost every day. Even if I only spend ten minutes in the tub, I still feel better than when I got in.

16. I'm a hopeless romantic. I want the whole deal and nothing less. I want fireworks, butterflies, laughter, passion, friendship, love, chemistry and lots more. I love getting flowers. I love receiving cards. I adore a kiss on the forehead, a squeeze of my hand, a hug so tight it takes my breath away and the kind of kiss that makes you smile afterwards just thinking about it.

17. When I was a little girl, I loved the song "Puttin' on the Ritz." I still do and I haven't heard it in years. I wanted to do a tap dance to the song when I was 5.

18. I believe in ghosts and I'm terrified of them.

19. I always wanted to surf and on my first day, I bailed huge and gave up. It was pathetic, but when that board hit me in the face it HURT! I will try again though. Perhaps in more calm waters, with an instructor and a helmet :)

20. I love gardening. During the summer, I wake up and can't wait to get outside and water my plants and flowers. I don't know much about proper gardening, I just buy what I like and hope I can keep it alive. Dark, rich soil and lush grass are so gorgeous. I have a bag of gardening tools and my gloves are tan leather with fuchsia accents. They're great.

21. I often know when things will happen before they actually do. I'm not psychic, I just get feelings about stuff. It's usually nothing big. I can sometimes tell when somebody will call me or what a friend is going to tell me. I knew my grandmother had died before my aunt told me. I knew right away that I was going to break somebody's heart. I knew my mother was dying of cancer before the doctors told us.

22. The first movie I ever owned was a VHS copy of Cinderella. My cousins Dawn and Laura and their parents gave it to me for Christmas. I felt so grown up having my own movie. I still have it.

23. My first Cabbage Patch doll is named Patch. She has brown yarn pigtails, a yellow dress with a duck on it, hot pink Crayola lipstick I drew on her and the thread sewn to her foot to make toes is missing. She is in my basement packed away and sometimes when I'm down there looking for something, I still pick her up and hug her. When I got blood work done before I had my tonsils out when I was six, I squeezed Patch so hard that her plastic head hurt my cheek. My Aunt Dolly told me last year that her name wasn't actually Patch and that I just wanted to call her that. I really want to know what her name was supposed to be.

24. I still know every word to Clueless, Dumb and Dumber, When Harry Met Sally and Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.

25. Every December, when Charlie Brown's Christmas is aired for the first time that season, I watch it and cry almost immediately. My mom loved Charlie Brown and I think of her and sob because I miss her so much when I watch it. My sisters, Dad and I try to buy all the Charlie Brown decorations we can find because we think she would have done that. Seeing the skating rink, those fluffy snowflakes and hearing the start of that song goes makes me fall apart.

This Thankful Stuff

Well my sweets, another Thanksgiving has come and gone for us Canadians. This was the first year my Dad and I made the ham my mom used to make. Well, let me clarify. I asked my Dad to make it, he did and then I made a split pea and ham soup from the leftovers. I'm happy to say that Mama would be proud! The ham was delicious and when my Dad was in Aurora cooking, I was at my condo downtown shedding a few happy tears thinking about my Mom.

I came home from a little jaunt out with Gigi Saturday afternoon and found the movie, Dutch on the telly. I don't remember watching this movie very much, but I ALWAYS remember my Mom howling with laughter over one particular line for whatever reason. I often wondered why that memory was so clear, yet I couldn't remember other details of the flick. To my delight (and to further solidify my faith in the universe), my question was answered was I flicked through the channels and found this movie. It didn't take long for me to feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I was bbm-ing with Jo and I told her how I was a mixture of laughter and tears. When Ed O'Neill looks over at Ethan Randall in the car and quips, "I don't care if you live, die or grow mushrooms in your crack..." I burst into a fit of laughter. That was the line my Mom had laughed at so many years ago. The sound of that laugh has stuck with me for years.

Feeling a bit down, I send bf a bbm and as our conversation progressed, it dawned on me that the feeling I have overall is one of frustration. I know I'm lonely and that I miss my Mom in a way I never thought I could live through, but most of all I'm frustrated that I will live with these feelings until the day we meet again amongst the clouds and angels. I can't make these feelings go away, nor do I want to since burying your feelings is a horrible thing to do. Sometimes, we need a good, healthy cry. A cry interrupted with laughter as you realize that life really is wonderful is such a fantastic thing.

This Planning

I might get ahead of myself sometimes. It's true. For example, as a kid I'd get twenty bucks for doing chores and the money would be spent before I got out the door. I'd "owe" my mom for other stuff before the money was in my hands. Some stuff never changes. I'm not engaged. I'm not planning a wedding, but I do think of how fabulous it will be when I am getting hitched so when I think of things I'd like to include I make a mental note of them. Define "mental" as you please, I meant I write it on my internal notepad and try to remember it. Although, thinking of the flowers you'd want for a wedding that doesn't even exist is a minor stop on the way to crazy town, so maybe it is that other type of mental note. I'm okay with that though. Most girls dream of their weddings, I just prefer a more practical angle and I plan it. Plan it years before it's going to happen...almost regretting this post as I might never hear from Ryan again after this. You know how boys get when marriage comes up.

Anyways, enough Friday afternoon rambling. Today I was on the Rue Magazine website and I listened to their free playlists. It got me thinking about music and how there are some songs I simply MUST have played at my wedding. So, I jotted down the list. With all the weddings I've been to, I notice music. I love music and when a song can move you in time and stir up emotions, it's worth taking note of. Here's the first part of my list
1) Mack the Knife by Bobby Darin (thanks Rue Magazine.)
2) All Night Long and Dancing on the Ceiling by Lionel Richie.
3) Something by Huey Lewis and the News - makes me think of Back to the Future and I worship Michael J Fox.
4) Any Stevie Wonder tune - preferably For Once in My Life.
5)Hall and Oates. This is for my mama, plus they've got killer 80s songs for dancing. Nothing like a swinging step, touch to get the dance floor jumping. Think of I Can't Go for That...great song.
6)Patsy Cline. Another artist I grew up listening to. My kindergarten teacher told my mom in the parent teacher interview I was the only student she'd ever had who sang Patsy Cline songs during playtime. If you're not familiar, do yourself a favour and listen to some of her stuff. She was killed tragically years ago, but was a total inspiration for many female country artists after her.
7)All Shook Up - the Elvis version. No messing around people.
8) Inxs. Depending on the vibe I need it's either Need You Tonight or Never Tear Us Apart.
9)Diana Ross and the Supremes. Mama listened to a lot of Motown and if you can't dance with Diana, who can you dance with?
10) Something by Harry Connick Jr. I love him. Loved him on Will and Grace. Loved him in Hope Floats. Love his Christmas albums. Love him as the only singer on the When Harry Met Sally soundtrack (also my favourite movie).
11) Some Donna Summer. I love disco. On the Radio, Last Dance, anything. In Miami a few years ago I was listening to my Donna Summer playlist on the beach. Rach was beside me and when I mentioned I was listening to Donna Summer she said, "No, I'm listening to Donna Summer" and laughed. Apparently I had the volume up a tad high.

I also think a LOT about the flowers because I adore flowers. I buy them for myself, but it's always better when someone buys them for you. I could walk through gardens and flower shops for hours. I think flowers are so absolutely beautiful and lively and under no circumstance will I skimp on this expense when the time comes to slap down the plastic and pay for some centrepieces. Recently, a post on Design*Sponge displayed some of the most gorgeous floral arrangements I have ever seen. I added the page to my favourites and have emailed myself the pictures. They're just so beautiful!! The artist created a floral tablescape so easy and organic that I often look at the pictures when I need a burst of happy.

So, there it is folks. I'm planning (always a planner) for an event occurring at a yet undetermined date. When it happens though, I'll save myself some stress since I'm already researching.

This Stuff that I Adore

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... Except, if we're changing this to a few of MY favourite things, I would have hydrangeas and puppies. I do love kittens and some types of roses, but we're getting off track here.

When I finally decided on a pair of shoes to wear to work this morning, I came up with this post idea: the stuff I love. I'm wearing a pair of three and a half year old gold ballet flats. I got them at a Target (Boutique Tarjay) in Florida for twelve bucks. They go with everything, are really comfortable and I haven't worn them since spring. Hence, my favourite thing about this morning.

This list is in no particular order and is truly another one of my ploys to get you guys to think about the stuff you really can't live without, and therefore makes you happy.
Here's my list:
1) My dogs, all three of them. Gigi Baby, Lily Flower and Roxy Girl - yes they have middle names - make me smile each and every day, even when they're being bad, wrapping their leashes around my legs and almost tripping me, shredding every scrap of paper they can find or barking incessantly for no reason. They're still three of my favourite things.
2) The smell of Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil. I'm a beach fanatic and truly should not have been born in Ontario. When I went to California a few years ago I though, "Hey! This is where I was supposed to be all these years!" Anything associated with the beach is my favourite. Lotions, sand, saltwater, swimming, getting a tan, bikinis, tan lines. All faves.
3) BBM. BlackBerry Messenger is a daily piece of heaven. I dislike texting now. I feel like it takes too long. the iPhone is pretty, but I'm a slave to BBM.
4) The flowers Ryan had delivered to me on my first day in the new condo. They're blush and beautiful and sitting in a crystal water jug on a pedestal table by my windows. Gorgeous.
5) Katy Perry. She's my girl crush these days. I could stare at that flawless skin and rockin' bod all day. And like, who doesn't love fun wigs? Pink hair? I'll take it!
6) My friend Shannon's design blog, www.whatsupwhimsy.com. It's my go-to creativity inspiration each morning. She has a baby, a husband, a job and she still blogs constantly and adds pictures. It really is a thing of beauty. She inspires me which brings me to my next favourite thing...
7) Inspiration. Let it grab you anywhere. Find it in the supermarket. Read it in a card. Catch a glimpse of it in a painting. Hear it in a song. Never stop wanting to do more and be better. You've gotta keep growing and for spiritual, intellectual, emotional and creative growth, we need inspiration.
8) The Elvis Presley station on satellite radio. I give $17.95 to Sirius each month and I never regret a penny of it. The Elvis channel, live from Graceland, bumped a house station out of the number two preset and man, do I SING those Elvis tunes. If I were alive when he was in his prime, I would have been all over that.
9) This organic risotto Ryan and I had the other night. I saved part of the label so I can buy it again. I made the garlic primavera version this week (which was super easy) and we inhaled it. Well, first we pretended like we would save the leftovers and then I said, "Ryan, you might as well finish the risotto. There's hardly enough to save..." He replied with enthusiasm and faster than I expected and we both ate from the same plate. It was good.
10) Fall. Yes, I love summer and September is my least favourite month of the year, but I get a bit excited when autumn rolls in again and I can wear jackets and boots, or is it that I can buy jackets and boots? Tough call. Anyhow, seeing the leaves change colour is truly amazing. Drive north on the 400 at King City Sideroad and look at those trees in a couple of weeks. Truly a marvel of this universe.
11) The way all the colours in my condo are coming together so beautifully. My gray shag rug, my impulse purchase chair, my massive mixed media California-themed piece of art, my pillows from Walmart and the shelf I put together - by myself I might add - from Ikea that only cost $29.00 and the fact that I finally have places to display my books according to the colour of their jackets and/or spines. I saw it in InStyle a couple of years ago and have been waiting for a space to use the technique since then. Okay, I might need three more bookshelves to fit them all, but it will be worth it.
12) Knowing that Christmas is coming and I can put up all my girlie decorations!!!!!! I've already moved them in to the storage locker in my condo. I haven't moved my coats or jackets in yet, but I've got stuff ready for December. Priorities.
13) The movie Up In The Air. I watched it the other night and I liked it. I stayed awake past ten which means I REALLY liked it. When George gives one guy the speech with the line, "How much did they pay you to first give up on your dream?" I felt smacked in the face, in a good way! Why aren't I going after my dreams? I'm in a career that pays well and I'm happy, but it's not part of my dream. It's sort of woken my up a bit and inspired me.

There you have it friends. This is the stuff I really dig these days.

This Memory of Mine

I spent Valentine's Day this year with my little sister Chelsea. She got tickets for John Mayer and as a fan, I happily tagged along. It wasn't until John's passionate voice began caressing my heart did I remember why I wasn't singing along. When Ryan and I broke up a couple of years ago I had to move everything that reminded me of him to my basement. That included all John's albums. There I was at the Air Canada Centre with my sister on love day thinking about Ryan and remembering how torn up I was over ending our relationship. Nicely done Cupid.

Fast forward to May 2010. Ryan had been on my mind constantly since we parted in 2008 and I was finally ready to jump back in, bear my soul and hope for the best. Through countless bbms (BlackBerry messages) we finally decided to have "the talk" on a Sunday evening. As I circled Liberty Village with Gigi in tow, Ryan and I talked about everything that had happened since we parted. He asked me what I was looking for, why I was coming back after all this time and how the break up had felt on my end. Jokingly I said, "I was devastated! I had to banish all my John Mayer music to the basement." I wasn't really joking though. I was sad. I missed Ryan and I often doubted whether walking away from him was the right decision.

Shift backwards to the summer of 2008. I ordered tix to see Johnny at Molson Amp with Ryan. Excitedly I told Ryan over the phone. His response, "Really? I've been watching Ticketmaster all week and I bought two tickets for us also." If you know Ryan, you know what a concert whore he is. He won't accept just any seats, he scopes websites, scours Craigslist and never settles for mediocre tickets. His were better than mine. I sold mine to Rach and her bf and then on a summery night Ryan and I, riding in the backseat of his Dad's car went downtown to the concert.

Ryan sings along when he likes a song, and he REALLY likes John Mayer. He spent the evening with a smile on his face, which makes me melt. Last night Ryan and I went to see John again at the Amp and when Ryan asked me what song I was dying to hear, I had to admit that I had forgotten a lot of my favourites, mostly because the songs I really love reminded me so much of Ryan that they ripped my heart out. When John sang out, "...slow dancing in a burning room" I had to tell Ryan that this song in particular was really hard to hear while we were breaking up. He agreed. I love that song. I think it's sexy, honest and makes so much sense. I've got to remember where I stashed the Ryan files in the basement and start listening again.

When Ryan and I got back together this spring he came over one night with a little present for me. The latest John Mayer album. He knows me well. This time all my Ryan stuff stays out of the basement <3

This Wedding Happiness

This Saturday, the bf and I were at another wedding. It's been a slow summer for me. This was only the third wedding I've been to since June. I did attend a gorgeous wedding in February for my friends Sonia and Luc, but since wedding season really began it's been a slow year for me. In 2008 I went to nine weddings, including one in Colorado Springs, and developed a Saturday routine for getting up and getting to the salon for 9 in the morning, grabbing a latte and muffin, going to the ceremony, coming home to change and then hitting the reception that evening. Honestly, I've loved every wedding I've ever been to. Yes, they can get expensive, but at the heart of why people throw these huge parties is love and happiness, family and fun. Some of my favourite things. If more people would incorporate their dogs in to their nuptials, I'd be thrilled!

Saturday evening Ryan and I (in matching colours incidentally - and totally accidentally) grabbed a cab to the Delta Chelsea for my cousin Nancy's wedding to the sweetest Brit I've ever met, Henry. Living abroad, this wedding has been planned in the handful of visits Nancy has made back from the U.A.E since getting engaged last summer. In her speech, Nancy thanked her mom for going to all the wedding related appointments on her behalf. During the speeches, I sobbed. My eyes were actually puffy when I woke up Sunday morning. Speeches are another thing I simply adore about weddings. Even if I'm not very close to the couple or the person giving the speech, I still manage to find something to bawl over. The rest of our table Saturday night laughed as my cousin Laura and I cried throughout dinner. It was comical really, but honestly the speeches were fab.

Where does my wedding happiness come from? All the details and the atmosphere. I love the invitations. I love knowing that the bride has painfully laboured over every detail to see her dreams come true. I adore being a part of that special day, even if only from the back of the reception hall. I have fun dancing and gazing at the newlyweds as they look in to each other's eyes. Saturday night, I was happy when my cousin danced with my uncle to Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she lovely?" because that's the same song I want to dance with my dad to when I get hitched. I was beyond happy to have Ryan there with me and to introduce him to all my relatives...and there are many. I love that I wore these killer lace stilettos I bought in December and was able to dance all night in them without any pain. I was overjoyed for Nancy as she thanked everyone and was formally welcomed in to her new family. I was delighted when Henry mentioned starting a family together with his new bride. I was overwhelmed at the emotions I felt seeing my Aunt Margaret dressed so beautifully. I was ecstatic to see all my cousins and their kids and to know that families will always grow as mine certainly is. I'm blessed to have made my six month old second-cousin giggle and smile and I held him and kissed his chubby hands. Most of all, I'm so happy that Nancy's big day was flawless and beautiful, just like she is.

This Contagious Happiness

Just a wee note to say that my happy list made friends happy, which in turn makes me even happier. There really are so many opportunities to be happy if you let yourself be. I've been a doom and gloom girl before and every so often when things are less than perfect I might ask myself why this crap is happening to me...but then I stop.

Always be thankful and always find something to laugh and smile about each day. Heck, each hour. A nice email from a friend. Flowers in a garden you stroll by. The smell of waffle cones at a little ice cream shoppe. A text message. A great song on the radio. Finding twenty bucks in your pocket. Discovering new hobbies. Seeing the smile on somebody's face when you hold the door open for them. Getting mail. Having dinner with somebody you love. Sneaking a kiss from your sweetheart while people are in the other room. A new lipstick. The smell of laundry right out of the dryer. The promise of a new day. The sound of summer rain. The taste of freshly brewed coffee. Rereading a book you love and finding new things to love about it. Hearing your grandparents' voice. Reconnecting with old friends and picking up exactly where you left off. Running through sprinklers (in other people's yards)! Getting your favourite cereal on sale. Driving at night with the windows open and the music blaring. Getting a manicure. That feeling you get when you step out of the salon. Staying in on a Friday night in your jammies with movies and blankets. The shadows made by candlelight. The sound of crickets chirping - you can't see them but you know they're there. Good grammar. A painting from a child. Dancing alone in your house. My list could go on, but my hope is that this list helps you find your happiness.

This Stuff Making ME Happy!

Lately, I'm such a happy chick. Actually, I'm beyond happy. The word "bliss" often pops in to my head as I'm driving, walking with Gigi, sipping my first coffee of the day and basically while I'm doing anything and everything. So, here's a list (in no particular order) of the things that currently bring an abundance of joy in to my life.

1) I found a condo. It has lake and city views, comes with parking, Gigi can move in and my landlords are super awesome.

2)I followed my heart, listened to my gut - although it took a couple of years - put it all on the line, swallowed my pride and sent my ex a BBM that ends in a happily ever after. I reunited with the sweetest guy I've ever known and every single time I think about him (which is often), I smile.

3)My cousin got married and it was the happiest day of my life. I still get choked up when I think about the speech I gave, how she looked, how handsome and adoring the groom is, how happy her parents were, how much fun everyone had and how my bf rushed from work to be a part of a big day in my life and still managed to bring me flowers. He's a catch girls, I highly recommend finding a beau just like Ryan.

4) The weather is incredible! Sure, we can moan about how hot and humid it is in Toronto, or we can stop and think about how much we moan about the snow and cold in February. You can't have everything people.

5)My sister Chelsea is going to university in the fall and I'm extremely proud of her. I'm going to miss her and I will be this weird older chick who visits campus and makes her little sister take her out for cheap university drinks, but I can't wait.

6)I saw a dog riding in the cab of a pickup truck today and when he looked through the window at me, he had the biggest smile on his face. The windows were open and the breeze made a mess of his fur, but I knew exactly how happy he was.

7)I'm staying out of the tanning beds. This doesn't seem like a big deal, but when you grow up a white Canadian girl with pale skin, you learn to love the tanning salon and the intoxicating smell of coconut lotions. Terrible for your skin and health, yes. Great for your appearance in the moment, yes. Have I stopped? Yes. Am I sporting a tan right now? No, but I have taken to spray tans and I'm trying to accept the porcelain colour of my skin. It's a work in progress and there was a tragic spray tan incident involving orange palms and feet, patches of dark skin and the opportunity for me to laugh at myself, but I'm happy that I'm not a slave to my 11 minutes of heaven in the turbo bed each week.

8)I drive everywhere with my windows and sunroof open and although my hair is a mess, I feel the warm breeze and hear the buzz of the city and I feel great. I have AC in the Jeep, but I always prefer natural air.

9)I enjoy my job. I like coming to work every day. My boss is great and my team is excellent. Most importantly, I have a job.

10)My friends are happy and healthy. Some are in transition. Others are stepping out on their own. Some are taking big leaps in to the future and all of it makes me think about how far we've all come and how far we still have to go.

What makes you happy? I'm sure if you think about it, you're happier than you realize.

This Sweet Nanny of Mine

If the universe has a plan for all of us, somebody out there already knows how our stories end. My Nanny (maternal grandmother) is spending the last of her days in a nursing home, medicated, tired, delirious and as pain-free as the doctors can keep her. At her bedside Tuesday night, I watched her sleep. I listened to her mumble. I heard her ask the Lord to take her away - she's pretty Catholic so this is like the home run for her and I got a glimpse of that humour that is so common in my family that I can't help but share it when friends ask me how my Nanny is doing.

My Nanny was born on a farm in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. My mom's family is all from down east and we're story tellers, can find the humour in the worst situations and above all, take care of each other. My aunts have been with my Nanny non-stop since the doctors decided not to take any heroic measures last Thursday. My sister Chels has taken the bus to the nursing home. My cousin Kate has spent every spare moment beside our Nanny. Cousins, uncles, aunts and relatives have all come to say good bye to Mary Eileen Lewis. Well, if I'm being honest her married name is Vowles - She remarried years after my Papa passed away - but you can ask her and she'll tell you that she's only really loved my Papa and so I still think of her as a Lewis. http://genealogy.about.com/od/surname_meaning/p/lewis.htm

When she was a young woman (more like barely a woman since this is ages ago and people married young), she fell in love with my Papa, who lived on the next farm. Edward Lewis was older, taller - not hard to be taller than Nanny, she's like five foot two with her best heels on - handsome, had a wicked sense of humour and one afternoon he took her out for ice cream. This might not seem like a big deal to any of us, but over 60 years ago, taking somebody in to town to have an ice cream was HUGE. Anyways, she was already in love with him at that point and they were married soon after. Their love affair brought them to Ontario. Gave them six children, 11 grand children and 9 great-grand children. Not to brag or anything, but we're all pretty entertaining, funny, charming and pretty darn nice to look at. Most importantly though, we're all very lucky to have each other and it's the example my grand parents set in how to take care of friends and family that has made me one of the luckiest people I know. My family is close. There aren't tonnes of us, but enough to fill up a room and among my best friends, I count my cousin Jen as the closest. We're so close in fact that Jen and I are more like sisters. We were born four months apart and raised side by side in matching outfits, but different colours. Up until a few years ago we'd still get the same gifts from everyone, but in different colours. Our tastes have since matured.

Nanny had a rebirth after my Papa passed away. She's was too young to remain a widow and for the first time in her life had possibilities to do what she wanted. She moved to a condo in Thornhill and had that puppy decorated in true Golden Girls fashion. My uncle used to call it "Hollywood" because it was flashy. She had a white Christmas tree with all peach and mint green ornaments. Honestly, it was like waking up in pastel heaven. So girlie for the 80s and so my Nanny. She went on cruises with her sister. Came to Florida with my mom, Aunt Sharon, Jen and I and basically spoiled us the entire time we were there. If we wanted a chocolate bar at 8am, Nanny would give it to us. About 20 minutes later when the chaos would ensue as Jen and I started tearing each other apart, my mom and Aunt could only blame my sweet little Nanny.

I never really understood aging growing up. I remember when Nanny stopped dying her hair and how my mom took notice. I didn't think it was a big deal, but now I understand how it was a symbol of aging and accepting that life moves forward. My Nanny is ready to go and although it really stings, I'm happy she's okay with it. The other night she told us that her boyfriend was coming to pick her up and take her out for a burger. I asked her if she'd get a milkshake and with her eyes still closed she licked her lips and muttered, 'Oh yes!" She's 82. She does not have a boyfriend and she was telling us all this from the hospital bed in her room at the nursing home. She's out there these days, but it's still amusing.

On Sunday she made my aunts play charades with her. Apparently my Aunt Sharon wasn't guessing what Nanny was acting out. She turned to my Aunt Dolly and scoffed , "She's not very good at this." Sheesh! She may be ailing, but she still has some kick and that's how it is in our family.

This twenty ten stuff

I'm determined that this year will be MY year. I'm also determined that it will be Jo's year too. We deserve some good stuff in our lives. This weekend we're heading north to try snowboarding. When I told a friend of mine I was trying this winter sport for the first time he replied, "Crystal! They have lots of hospitals in Collingwood." So, I'm thinking I will spend my first days as a successful woman of 28 bruised and sore, but very happy.

I'm yearning for some new adventures in my life. New friends. New sports. New foods. New places. New experiences. New skin tones judging from the Casper white skin I'm sporting in the pic from my friends Sonia and Luc's wedding a couple of weeks ago. And new whatever else comes towards me. I've already started trying new things. For example, I traded in my usual latte for a gourd of yerba on Queen West a few weeks ago on a date. Both the company and the drink were delightful. The yerba was strong at first and came with a LOT of rules for drinking, sharing, not stirring and adding more water. Both my date and I were worried that we were doing it wrong, but still had a blast sipping from the same straw (that's how you're supposed to do it).

So, for March I will try snowboarding for the first time. That's something new. I used to adore skiing, but as I get older I'm more of a chicken and I haven't skied in ten years. My pal Tina talked me into spending the weekend in a chalet and being uber Canadian and I'm glad I fell under her spell. I can't wait to spend hours laughing on the slopes while my pals and I attempt to make this winter sport look easy and natural. The only thing I have going for me is the outfit. I have a great toque with a fun pompom on the top. I can't wait to wear it!

Sure, I believe the universe has a plan for all of us and that destiny has already written our life stories, but I also believe we have the power to alter those stories if we wish. I WANT this year to be huge for me, so I'm willing it to be my best year yet. Ya, it might be total BS and maybe you think I'm an idiot for believing in the power of the universe and all that, but I don't really care. I'm making this year awesome for myself and I'm determined that everything I've ever wondered about (love, career, life) will be revealed to me this year. Check back on the eve of 2011 and we'll see if my predictions are right.

This Hangup

Alright, I have a height issue when it comes to dudes. I can't help it. I'm fairly tall for a chick and I like feeling petite beside my man. As a result, I have dated mostly tall guys. Some really tall. The last one under six feet was in high school and I'd prefer to forget everything about him. It seems however, the universe is telling me to get the eff over my height requirement. Honestly though, when you spent all your childhood feeling lanky and being taller than most of the boys until high school, you develop a height thing. I wear heels, okay? And I'm not going to stop wearing heels, especially when I'm out for dinner, on a date or out dancing and if I feel like a big, giant Amazon woman next to a guy, it's less fun for me.

I've had this theory in my mind for years that at the very least, any guy I date should be at least six feet tall. So, I've been out there and guess what? The tall dudes aren't measuring up. Ironic, eh? Furthermore, it seems all the slightly vertically challenged men I've met in the last few months have been super fantastic in almost every way. All the things I wanted from the giant men is offered up freely from these shorter gentlemen. It's a refreshing change.

My cousin Jen, who is happily engaged to the most awesome guy ever (he's not the tallest dude on earth - coincidence?) gave me a passage on love in January and it's starting to REALLY make sense. Here's what it says: When it comes to love relationships, often people think that they want a particular person. But if you think about it deeply, it is not really the particular person that they want. What they really want is to be blissfully happy with the perfect person.

Okay, so I'm supposed to stop asking for somebody and start realizing that perhaps the person I've been looking for doesn't look like I thought he would. I also read an article recently about how to fall in love. Again, the general theme is get out there, get over what you thought you wanted and that maybe that really hot guy is a total wanker and the really sweet accountant is the guy who will make you fall harder than you've ever fallen before.

This Night Out

I spent Saturday with my gf, Rach. It's pathetic when life gets so busy that you barely see your bestie anymore. We've been trying for ages to even just grab a coffee together or watch Glee or something and finally our universes aligned for a Saturday night out.

Rach always knows how to make me laugh and one of the best things about being with her is hearing her laugh at almost everything I say. A real ego boost, ya know? Shit, I'm pretty funny but it never hurts to know that with a few zingers and ballsy comments you can make people crack up.

After a jaunt downtown and some impressive high heeled cardio, we landed at a little spot on King. It was like the mecca of gorgeous men. I had found them! Too bad for Rach, she's attached and lives with her hunny but LORDY I was free to feast my eyes on every delicious male that brushed past me that evening. Let's say that in some cases, I didn't move out of the way to make room for passersby and let them come face to gorgeous face with me while I tossed out a knowing smile.

This time wasn't like in university when one of both of us were living in the city and partying like it's going outta style. We're a bit older, we've got lives to lead regardless of the hangover status on Sunday and really, do we need to drink free doubles and hammer down shots? My liver and schedule can't handle that kind of party anymore, so Rach and I spent the better part of the evening talking about anything and everything. Sunday afternoon we headed out for brunch and brought Matt along with us. It's really wonderful to dig that guy your best girlfriend is with and regardless of how mushy it sounded, I had to tell them how happy I was for them over home fries and french toast. It makes me really happy to see people in love and when you add coffee and breakfast food into the mix, well I guess I was overjoyed for the two of them.

This Crispy September Afternoon

You have to reward yourself in life. This is my final week of freedom before embarking on a new career adventure with a fantastically awesome and creative agency downtown. I had some contract work to wrap up and I promised myself that as soon as I got the work done, I could devote some time to my blog again.

Soooo, how have things been going for Major Gal? Well, I watched two of my oldest friends get married a few weeks back and it warmed my heart so much, that I'm still thinking of those two wonderful evenings with fond memories. Krystal's wedding was the culmination of 10 years with her sweetie, Chris and was such a fun night! Stef's classic and elegant nuptials made me weep as I pictured the girl I've known for 20 years grow up before my eyes. Both of these women were absolutely gorgeous brides and a smile still spreads across my face when I think about how happy I am to know that they're both so happily married.

Hearing these couples exchange vows and seeing them waltz around dance floors made me think about what my big day will be like. At this point, I have NO idea, but what I do know is that it will be filled with the people I love and the man of my dreams. The flowers, dresses and menu details will have to wait. For most girls, dreaming about your wedding is something that begins in childhood and carries on until the day actually arrives. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly jealous of my gorgeous friends as they had bands of gold slipped onto their delicate fingers. What I've come to realize about myself though is that I'm not ready for marriage yet. There is so much I want to do and see and become, that I can't be a "wife" just yet. A boyfriend would be nice, but more than than just doesn't fit into my life right now.

I wake up each morning a single gal, knowing that TODAY could be the day I meet somebody special. It's exciting to throw a glance at a handsome stranger, or "accidentally" bump into a hunk waiting in line for coffee and the excitement of dating someone new is so intoxicating! Those first phone calls, getting picked up for a date, spending hours making out, seeing a new message from your crush, it's all part of this blissful life of the single gal. As a single girl, I can do all this and I'm thrilled! Every day that I'm on this earth without a mate is another day that I'm open to the endless possibilities this universe has to offer. In no way am I saying that all you married people are fresh outta possibilities! In fact, the possibilities available to a happily married couple include starting a family, which is so fantastic. The possibilities for a single girl are just different from those available to a married lady. Hopefully we all get to have both over the course of our lives <3