This Challenge

Sometimes we've got to face our challenges bang on. And maybe when we don't want to face them, those around us stir them up for us. I can't tell you how many people in my life this week have asked me what the fuck I'm doing with fire boy. So maybe I don't want to deal with the idea that he's a douche right now and that if he can't see how fucking great I am when I'm right in front of's my choice, right?

Apparently not. People I'm close with, have just met and am getting to know have all hit me with the whole: "Crystal, he's not worth it. Give yourself a timeline and if he hasn't stepped up by then, move on" speech. It's not like I haven't already run this scenario over in my head millions of times, it's just that for some reason I can't move on just yet. So why is that?

I've prayed for love, meditated on the subject, sent love vibes out into the universe in hopes that they'll come back to me and I'll never give up. Each night I turn off my bedside lamp, straighten out my bedding and with my eyes closed I ask for love. I also ask for help and protection for all those who need it and I thank the universe for blessing me with all the wonderful people in my life.

Facing reality can really suck sometimes, but it's still a blessing. When you get the mirror held up to your face and someone forces you to see things for what they really are, it can be a bitch, but it's worth it. No matter how head over heels I am for this guy, I still go to sleep each night knowing that he's the idiot for how this is going and not me. I am upfront and honest with my feelings and if someone can't reciprocate it's their loss.

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